Polygamy Now
The unfolding story of polygamy in the United States

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Finding or Forming a Polygamous Family

Based on emails from you, fearless readers, it’s time to talk about creating a consensual polygamous family. This is a fascinating topic for me.

First let me tell you how I think most consensual polygamous relationships form. I know of at least one in each category in the list below, and you can probably imagine others.

  1. You’re a woman with a prolonged illness. You dream about having a sister-wife to help take care of your demanding husband and your kids. You could really use a break now and then.
  2. You’re a career woman who travels a lot. You and your husband are fairly open-minded and you’d like to find him a suitable sister-wife you trust to keep the home fire burning while you’re gone.
  3. You and your husband have a happy, solid marriage. You take in an attractive woman who has run away from her abusive husband. You protect her, nurture her, and over time she becomes your sister-wife.
  4. You and your husband have a happy, solid marriage. For many years, you’ve hung out with, traveled with, and grown older with another happy couple. Her husband unexpectedly dies, and you take her in. Over time, she becomes your sister-wife.
You get the idea. Our family is a hybrid of the first three items above.

Here are some of my beliefs about forming a polygamous family --

  1. Polygamy is more attractive to women than to men. Why? I don’t know. Fear of commitment? Fear of performing sexually on a schedule? Limited income? If a man’s goal isn’t to father a lot of children, I doubt if many men would consider polygamy.
  2. It’s more difficult to form a polygamous family than to form a monogamous family. If you want a polygamous family, but you’ve had trouble forming a solid, satisfying relationship in the past, go practice until you feel confident and attractive.
  3. Chances of finding the right chemistry through the internet are pretty low, but stranger things have happened. Willingness to relocate is a plus.
I’m aware of several internet resources that purport to help you find your future husband/sister-wives. I’ll be reviewing some of them in future installments of Finding or Forming a Polygamous Family.


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