Polygamy Now
The unfolding story of polygamy in the United States

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Our Wedding Vows

Several of you have asked about polygamous marriage ceremonies. Here are our own wedding vows. If you wish, repeat the Vows and Pronouncement for each wife.

From Anne Morrow Lindbergh's Gift from the Sea --

When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to.

And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, in in growth, in fluidity -- in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in wanting or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking to what it was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

For relationships, too, must be like islands. One must accept their limits -- islands, surrounded by and interrupted by the sea, continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of ebb and flow, of intermittency.

I, ________, take you, ___________, to be none other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, with respect for your integrity, and faith in your love for me, through our time together, and in all that life may bring us, I accept you as my partner.

Community Vows
You who are gathered here are the core of a sacred community, supporting this couple and this household in its honoring of the many different forms that love can take. Do you here promise to do what you can to honor and support the intentions of this marriage and this household? If you can, please answer "we will".

_______________ and ______________, you have consented in marriage and have witnessed this before us. You have pledged your respect and love to each other and have declared this by exchanging vows before those. In the spirit of Life and Love, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss each other.

Let us take a moment of reflection to bless this household. The three of you take risks that others would be afraid to take. You express love and deep friendship with freedom and honesty. May all here bless this household for your courage, your open hearts, and your willingness to experience love without restriction. Blessings on the family. Amen.