Polygamy Now
The unfolding story of polygamy in the United States

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Our Profile

How we met

Martin and Karen met at a dance convention in Palm Springs in 1995. They found common interest in dancing, biology, and building houses. They became dance partners and started competing together, winning championships in California and Washington in various dance styles.

Karen joined Martin in Seattle, Washington in 1998, where they built their dream home together in the greater Seattle area. They met Lisa in 2002, when she moved into the neighborhood with her two sons.

Lisa became a frequent visitor to Martin and Karen's home, playing duets with Martin and learning to dance from Karen. The three started going out together. A year later, Martin and Karen added a wing to their home for Lisa and her sons, and Lisa became Karen's sister-wife. Karen announced the relationship to the community at a general meeting in 2003.

A little more about each of us

Martin (59) has been a dancer, musician, Vietnam vet, lecturer, author, interpreter, and computer programmer. He's lived and worked in Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam, Germany, and Sweden. He has a B.A. in Asian Culture (Brown U.) and an M.A. in Dance Anthropology (UCLA). He currently writes for Microsoft.

Karen (62) is a retired AP (advanced placement) bilingual biology teacher. She has one handicapped daughter, Maria, and two sons, Martin and Michael. Karen has been a ballet dancer, house contractor, and jewelry designer. She has an M.S. in biology.

Lisa (47) is a piano teacher, Reiki master, and health educator. She has two sons, James and Josh. In Lisa's words, here is her story...

I actually had thoughts of my first husband having a second wife during my first marriage, but never spoke about it. We were monogamous and had a Christian background, so this was a taboo subject matter. I was very ill during the last 4 years of our marriage and a second wife could have relieved me and tended to the needs of my husband and probably could have saved our marriage instead of it
turning to divorce.

I had no idea that many years later I would be living in polygamy. I wasn't particularly looking for it, it just happened. We just happen to be the right people for each other. Perhaps we owe our success to our personalities and background that just happen to work for all of us.

The thing that I love most about our relationship is the support that we all have for each other. Karen has frequently helped me and Martin out of a few disagreements as have I with the two of them. I like that I can support Karen in the things she loves to do. She likes to work outside in the yard for several hours at a time, and Martin likes to have someone nearby and not feel left by himself. So I can fulfill this need for the both of them, by being with Martin when Karen likes to work outside. Also Karen likes to take trips to see her daughter out of state frequently. I can stay at home with Martin so he doesn't feel left behind. So Karen gets what she needs without feeing guilty, Martin gets what he needs without feeling left behind. And I
get my needs met by feeing that I have an important part of holding things together. I also have a strong need to not be alone too much, so this also fulfills my need in this way by being with Martin.

It is so symbiotic, that we frequently don't have to even discuss these matters. We just know intuitively what each other needs. We also can be honest with each other and all sit down and say what's on our mind if we aren't feeling great about something or feel that we have a need that isn't being met. We probably know more about each other than anyone has ever known about us personally. The realness and honesty are beautiful and really bond us together.